How an FBI Hostage negotiator's techniques can supercharge your negotiation skills in the business world

Never Split the Difference by ex-FBI Hostage negotiator Chris Voss is a classic in the business world and it is not an accident that its author regularly features on the most streamed podcasts in the world. The book draws parallels between intense hostage situations and the business world, analyzing the techniques he used to diffuse the most intense hostage situations.

Just like a struggling salesman starting his career, FBI hostage negotiators made many mistakes in its early history of its unit in the 70s and 80s, drawing on primarily “problem-solving” frameworks. Oftentimes FBI negotiators would panic, teams would draw to their guns prematurely ultimately escalating the situations and leading to unnecessary deaths. The FBI had to go back to the drawing board and come up with new strategies to get these criminals to surrender more easily.

Chris Voss does an excellent job summarizing the techniques and epiphanies he had throughout his career at the FBI. To no surprise his technique involves appealing to the emotional side of the hostage-takers, making the most despicable criminals feel understood and comfortable enough to offer up helpful information that led to captives being freed unscathed. Here are some take-aways from the book that I found particularly useful and that I have incorporated into my style of negotiating:

The Power of Tactical Empathy: Voss emphasizes the importance of empathy in negotiations. He suggests that salespeople should actively listen to their customers, understand their needs, and acknowledge their emotions. By showing empathy, you can build rapport and trust with your customers, making it easier to reach mutually beneficial agreements. One way to practice this is to use labels. For instance, say your prospect has concerns regarding the cost of the product, you might say “it sounds like you’re concerned about the cost … can you help me understand more about your budget constraints…” Using labels can help the other side feel heard and resolve any tension, thus allowing you to move the conversation forward.

The Art of Mirroring: Mirroring is a technique where you mimic the words, tone, and body language of your counterpart. Voss argues that mirroring can help establish a connection and encourage your customer to open up. In sales, mirroring can be used to make the customer feel heard and understood. For example, if a customer speaks slowly and formally, you might mirror their style to create a sense of rapport. However, it's essential to use mirroring genuinely and not come across as manipulative.

Use no-oriented questions to empower the other side: Using "no-oriented" questions to empower and give the other side a sense of control during negotiations. The idea behind this approach is to encourage the counterpart to feel more comfortable and assertive in expressing their needs, preferences, and boundaries. For example, if you're negotiating a contract, you might say, "I bet this price is way too high for you, isn't it?" By doing so, you invite the other party to express their concerns without feeling pressured.

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